Madison's funnies

Allen was telling us about his day at school where someone got hit in the arm and had a big purple bruise on their arm...
Madison's response - " Well, do they like purple?"


We found a cricket that needed relocating. I asked Chad if he could come help because it was going to take some finagling to get to it...
Madison's response - "Will finagling kill it?"

Prevention of Swine Flu - Avoid The Following

I just had to share!

I'm a Craft Geek!

...and I'm not afraid to admit it! This is what I made last night...so cute!

The best boy...

Wesley was sitting at the table last night working on his homework while Chad and I were finishing dinner. Out of nowhere Wesley looked up and told Chad, "I'm so glad mom picked you instead of some other boy, because you're the funniest!"

Gathering Leaves

We were crumpling up paper to fill our leaf bag spider, and it got me thinking about changing leaves ( our leaves are still green and firmly attached to our trees - they usually come off sometime in January!) You can never go wrong with Frost!

Gathering Leaves
by Robert Frost

Spades take up leaves

No better than spoons,

And bags full of leaves

Are light as balloons.

I make a great noise

Of rustling all day

Like rabbit and deer

Running away.

But the mountains I raise

Elude my embrace,

Flowing over my arms

And into my face.

I may load and unload

Again and again

Till I fill the whole shed,

And what have I then?

Next to nothing for weight,

And since they grew duller

From contact with earth,

Next to nothing for color.

Next to nothing for use.

But a crop is a crop,

And who's to say where

The harvest shall stop?

Just One More then I'll stop...maybe!

The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner.After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota .There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John Mc. returned to the starting line and he had ten fish.Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.At the end of the 2nd day John Mc. came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, 'Obama, I think John Mc. is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.'The next night (after John Mc. returns with 50 fish), said to Obama, 'Well, tell me, how is John Mc. cheating?'Obama replied, 'Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice.'Experience Counts

Election humor!

There are less than two months until the election, an election that will decide the next President of the United States . The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats, or the Republicans. To show our solidarity as Americans, let's all get together and show each other our support for the candidate of our choice. It's time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike. If you support the policies and character of John McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day. If you support Obama, please drive with your headlights off at night. Thank you for your participation in this patriotic endeavor!

Time keeps on slipping...

I'm behind...I KNOW! Getting 3 ready for school is exponentially more difficult than two. Why I don't know. It's not as if I have never been shopping before. I actually enjoy it every chance I get! The thrill of the deal, gotta love it. Anyways, I decided I would try and do a little recap ( in segments of course) of the end of summer and the start of a new school year; just to let everyone know we didn't fall into Tucson's black hole! So "Hi" everyone!

Hey hey hey what's your name?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 15 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

I put it in Chad and the kids names too...

Chad-93 (Ranked 259)

Allen-99 (Ranked 240)

Wesley-59 (Ranked 378)

Ashley-178 (Ranked 114)

Madison-2 (Ranked 2762)

100 Posts!

This is to commemorate my 100th post (the last one, not this somewhat lame one) Yeah!

~Game Time~

Here's another fun game. You better do it and put it on your blog too!!Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not.

(X) Gone on a blind date - probably a couple times

(X) Skipped school - yes, but probably only with mom's permission! :)

() Watched someone die

() Been to Canada

(X) Been to Mexico

() Been to Florida

() Been on a plane

(X) Been lost

() Been on the opposite side of the country

() Gone to Washington, DC

(X) Swam in the ocean

(X) Cried yourself to sleep

(X) Played cops and robber

(X) Recently colored with crayons

(X) Sang Karaoke-19th birthday just ran across pictures from that one!

(X) Paid for a meal with coins only

(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Isn't this part of being a mom?

(X) Made prank phone calls - is your refrigerator running?

(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue

(X) Danced in the rain

(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus

(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe

(X) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about

(X) Blown bubbles

(X) Gone ice-skating

(X) Been skinny dipping outdoors-in the middle of the night in sixth grade for like two seconds!

The Wisdom of Youth!

A smile for the day. (And a bit of truth in the> bargain!)

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you have known the person FOREVER by then.

-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem> to be yelling at the same kids.

-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to> say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8> (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a> second date. -- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's> the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 10

I hope none of you feel like a dump truck today!

"Forget about your worries and your stripes?"

So we were on our way home from Lowes last night and the kids were talking and singing in the back seats when Ashley's song just stood out...She is kinda loud! She was singing 'Bear Necessities' from The Jungle Book. After like three rounds of the chorus she stopped and asked me, "Mom, why do bears have stripes?"

Public Restrooms

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mum, no doubt) is empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you quickly drape it around your neck, (Mum would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance." In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging in front of your chest, and you topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get." By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this." As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?" This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

I saw this on my friend Becky's Blog and felt an overwhelming desire to share!

Because I Can!

Pick the month you were born:
January I kicked
February I loved
March I karate chopped
April I licked
May I jumped on
June I smelled
July I did the Macarena with
August I had lunch with
September I danced with
October I sang to
November I yelled at
December I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1. a birdbath
2. a monster
3. a phone
4. a fork
5. a snowman
6. a gangster
7. my cell phone
8. my dog
9. my best friends' boyfriend
10. my neighbor
11. my science teacher
12. a banana
13. a fireman
14. a stuffed animal
15. a goat
16. a pickle
17. your mom
18. a spoon
19. a smurf
20. a baseball bat
21. a ninja
22. Chuck Norris
23. a noodle
24. a squirrel
25. a football player
26. my sister
27. my brother
28. an ipod
29. a surfer
30. a llama
31. A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White because I'm cool like that
Black because that's how I roll.
Pink because I'm NOT crazy.
Red because the voices told me to
Blue because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green because I think I need some serious help.
Purple because I'm AWESOME!
Gray because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown because I can.
Other because I'm a Ninja!
None because I can't control myself

I DID THE MACARENA WITH A BASEBALL BAT BECAUSE I CAN!

Pay It Forward

Some friends are doing this and I thought that it sounded like fun.I will send a handmade gift to the first three (3) people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange.You may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days!The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog. (So, you must have a blog to participate.) I can't wait to see who I will be giving to. To join, just cut and paste this on your blog and comment away. So get posting!! 'Tis the season for giving...and blogging :)

The Story of the Jack o'Lantern

A stingy drunkard of an Irish blacksmith named Jack had the misfortune to run into the Devil in a pub, some say on Halloween night. Jack had too much to drink and was about to fall into the Devil's hands, but managed to trick the Devil by offering his soul in exchange for one last drink. The Devil turned himself into a sixpence to pay the bartender, but Jack quickly pocketed him in his purse. Because Jack had a silver cross in his purse, the Devil could not change himself back. Jack would not let the Devil go until he promised not to claim his soul for ten years. The Devil agreed and ten years later Jack came across the Devil while walking on a country road. The Devil wanted to collect, but Jack, thinking quickly, said "I'll go, but before I go, will you get me an apple from that tree?" The Devil, thinking he had nothing to lose, jumped on Jack's shoulders to obtain the apple. Jack pulled out his knife and carved a cross in the trunk of the tree. This left the Devil in the air, unable to obtain Jack or his soul. Jack made him promise to never again ask for his soul. Seeing no way out, the Devil agreed. No one knows how the Devil ever managed to get back down! When Jack finally died years later, he was not admitted to Heaven, because of his life of drinking and being tightfisted and deceitful. When he went to apply for entrance to Hell, the Devil had to turn him away because he agreed never to take Jack's soul. "But where can I go?", asked Jack. "Back where you came from!", replied the Devil. The way back was windy and dark. Jack pleaded with the Devil to at least provide him a light to find his way. The Devil, as a final gesture, threw a live coal at Jack straight from the fire of Hell. To light his way and to keep it from blowing out in the wind, Jack put it in a turnip he was eating. Ever since, Jack has been doomed to wander in darkness with his lantern until "Judgment Day." Jack of the lantern (Jack o'Lantern) became known as the symbol of a damned soul. (When the term jack-o'-lantern first appeared in print in 1750, it referred to a night watchman or a man carrying a lantern.) People believed that spirits and ghosts left the grave on Halloween and would seek out warmth in their previous homes. Villagers, fearful of the possibility of being visited by the ghosts of past occupants, would dress up in costumes to scare the spirits on their way. They would also leave food and other treats at their door to appease the spirits, so they would not destroy their homes or crops, but instead move on down the road. They also began to hollow out turnips with a face either painted or carved into it, and place lighted candles inside, hoping the image of a dammed soul would scare the spirits away. The Irish Potato Famine (1845-50) prompted over 700,000 to immigrate to the Americas. These immigrants brought with them their traditions of Halloween and Jack o'Lanterns, but turnips were not as readily available as back home. They found the American pumpkin to be a more than adequate replacement. Today, the carved pumpkin is perhaps the most famous icon of the holiday.

Just for Girls!

A friend posted this on her blog, and I couldn't help myself!

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

A

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked."No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.

A

"UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,and still be afraid of a spider.

A

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

A

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobaccoand some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

AA

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument andneither of them wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

AA

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

A

ACREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can beso stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

AA

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about whoshould brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first,and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . "HEBREWS"

AA

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake himat 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

AA

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece